MILF…Why Not DILF?

Interesting discussion took place last night with some good friends and some not so fortunate bystanders. Warning to you of graphic, hope-it-doesn’t-make-you-puke content.

The acronym MILF had already been floating around in various conversations when Friend #1 decided to ask, “Do you consider yourself a MILF?”

I quickly replied two or three times, “NO, FAR FROM IT!”

Like the idiot that I am I pondered and asked, “How come you don’t hear DILF?”

He asked, “What’s a DILF?”

I said, “You know, a Dad…”

He then pondered, shrugged his shoulders and said, “I don’t know.”

Then he asked our other friend, Friend #2, who isn’t a dad (of children), “Do you consider yourself a DILF?”

Friend #2 caught on (as this was the friend that had brought up the MILF acronym to begin with 😕 ) and confidently said to no one in particular, “Any time.”

Friend #1 asked me, “Why don’t you do a search on the Internet for DILF?” Then the topic about porn sites and pop-ups ensued much to my dismay.

At this point I’m feeling like I should have kept my mouth shut. But it gets better.

Friend #1 asks this other guy, “Do you consider yourself to be a DILF?”

The guy is puzzled and even after asking him if he knows what a MILF is, and he does, he’s still puzzled.

I defensively tell Friend #1 that he shouldn’t be asking non-fathers that question, and hesitantly explain to this other guy about the male counterpart to a MILF, and this guy embarrassingly laughs and says, “No, no, no!”

Friend #1 is a comedian. Not a real one but somehow he manages to embarrass this guy again.

Not sure why but this guy shows Friend #1 a fan that looks like this but black. Friend #1 looks at it and says, “Did you get that from DILF.com?”

The guy again embarrassingly laughs and doesn’t say anything again for awhile. Smart move.

Now I’m really feeling like it’s dangerous to say anything to Friend #1 without worrying about the repercussions.

Friend #1 then looks around and targets a father. He calls Friend #3 over.

“Do you consider yourself a DILF?” Friend #1 asks Friend #3.

Friend #3 is also puzzled and asks, “What’s a DILF?”

So Friend #3 gets the explanation of the MILF counterpart and then also embarrassingly says, “Oh, that’s not good.” Especially since it’s a guy asking him. I didn’t hear him answer the question either.

It doesn’t stop here.

Friend #1 then points to my sister and asked, “What is your sister?”

I sheepishly said, “I don’t know. How about a SILF?” That would be a Single…You get it.

He then asked, “How about a BILF?”

I replied, “What’s that?”

Both he and my sister then said in unison, “Bitch.”

Moral of the story is to be careful when you bring up acronyms such as DILF.